Long time no see my lovely peeps! I hope you’re all bright and blooming, or simply getting by, it’s all welcome here 🙂
Let’s do a very brief summary of my last m.i.a voyage. Long story short, I lost my beautiful childhood dog, Daisy a couple weeks back. My heart has been shattered and it’s been an awful lot to navigate and unpack, not helped by a baseline busy brain and battling for support. I had to remind myself (as I would to anyone else..you included), it is absolutely okay to take time for you, to cry, to process, to feel, to sit with, to cope and to receive help.
Due to this, my perspective on a lot of things has changed, maybe not even changed, it’s become real, raw and honest.
Over time, a lot of what I had to say I have filtered, not because that felt authentic to me, but because I felt too much. I felt like I feel too deeply, I don’t understand things or find joy in things others might, I have never felt like I fit in or wholeheartedly align anywhere.. Up until recently.
I think what has changed is I have noticed that maybe I am too much for certain people, but in my heart, what makes me me and what makes me happy will never be too much for myself. Those who are meant to be around me, will see these traits and think “wait, you want to go befriend some pigeons in the park and rescue bees and beetles from being trodden on? Hell yeah, count me in”, and to that I say, the more the merrier. Energy attracts and so does joy, its contagious, little actions make other people curious and maybe a little gentler and I personally think earth’s inhabitants could do with a little more softness.
I have said to so many people “I feel closer to a pigeon than I do to a person right now”, and that might sound peculiar to some but hear me out. Pigeons are inherently confused, they don’t really know what’s going on, they’re a little lost but not through choice but people’s actions. Pigeons were actually domesticated, they were treated more like how you would a cat or a dog, then they were dismissed and had to learn to survive and navigate life their own way. They are often judged or thought of badly, but in reality they do no harm, minus maybe pinching your crisps, but I’ll let that slide. The world can truly be a scary place, people making decisions out of selfishness, greed and authority, it’s hard. I’m speaking with the privilege of shelter and safety and not everyone has that which is heartbreaking and bewildering and I live in hope that these people and places find peace again. My point is that the world feels alien right now, and has done for a while, and you’re allowed to cope and navigate life in whatever way that keeps you and others safe and brings you true authentic joy.
Might that joy, peace and kindness be different from another, certainly, but that’s you.
You don’t need permission to be kind to yourself and feel.
So here is a little about me, I’m Ellie, I find my peace in yoga and spirituality. I am indeed a vegan, I love all animals, even if I’m a teeny (massive) bit scared of spiders I appreciate their existence, just from afar. I dream of owning an irish wolfhound and giving it a silly name. I love jellycats and anything nostalgic. I am in CBT therapy and hypnotherapy and it truly helps me. I am neurodivergent and have chronic illnesses. I LOVE yoga and beautiful moon circles. I collect pigeon figures and needle felted animals in little outfits. You will always find me in my crocs. I am a big animal crossing fan. I stand barefoot in the garden every morning with a cup of camomile tea in my thrifted mug and say hello to the sun and let the light hit my face..
and it makes my heart happy.
Speaking of, I’m heading off to yoga now, but I hope your hearts are full of love and light,
Rest,
Cope,
Be kind,
I’m grateful for you.
Ellie @ Moonlitmindproject